(Video) Singles | Newlyweds | 3 Stages of Communication | Texting vs Talking | ...

I have attached a video of my husband and I speaking to singles and newlyweds on this very subject. This video is going to mainly discuss one of the key factors, which we believe will provide wisdom and tips for newlywed couples and those aspiring to be married.

I believe it is safe to say, the most important factor to a successful relationship/marriage is none other than COMMUNICATION. Yep, we have heard it time and time again, without trust and communication, and unless the two people really work hard at restoration through prayer and the guidance of the Holy Spirit,  we might as well pack up right now and leave, because without those key components, the relationship is already dead. However, this post is only going to discuss one of the key factors, which is my favorite, Communication!
(Yea, right, don't believe the hype...:)

First, let me introduce you to the "Courtship" stage of communication. When my husband and I started courting we had no problem with communication. We would talk on the phone for hours on, all night long. Neither one of us wanted to hang up when it was obvious that both of us were fighting the Sand Man(Sleepiness). You know the favorite sayings, "You hang up, no You hang up, no boo, You hang up,,,and this may go on and on until the break of dawn. I'm sure if you have ever been in an amazing relationship, you can definitely relate. 

Fast forward to the "Newlywed" stage. Communication at this stage is easy and seamless. I can't lie. We could talk for hours on without any issues. We are getting to know each other on a different level then the first stage. It's the most exciting and invigorating time during this newlywed stage, especially now that we get to rise and shine together. We can talk all night long without a curfew. I also noticed during this stage, we had very little misunderstandings, which I believe is phenomenal. The courtship and the newlywed stage, to me, was quite similar. They're both still in the "giddy giddy, lovey dovey|" stages because the relationship is still fresh and new.

Now, Life begins, I call it the "Reality LIFE" stage aka, "Reality Check" stage. 

The "Reality Life" stage consist of entering the real world, growing together and learning each other on a much higher and deeper level.  It's now time to make real important decisions together as a couple. Remind you, these decisions were independently made before marriage and now you have to include a plus one. That in and of itself could make individuals feel a little uncomfortable and quite uneasy. I know I felt very uncomfortable and even frustrated at times, especially when I've been used to making decisions on my own for many years and now you are telling me I have to consult with someone else outside of God and myself...LAWD how mercy. Not easy at all, I must admit. This gives "Dying to Self" a whole "nother" meaning. Trust me in this stage we are learning the things that really irritates each other. Things that were probably there from the beginning but it wasn't yet revealed or it just didn't bother you at all because the relationship was in that giddy, giddy stage. Don't lie, You know how that fresh love can blind you from the realness:)

However, in marriage, communication is one of the main keys to an effective marriage, but it's easier said then done. During this stage, we are learning each others unseen  personality or should I say personalities,  that wasn't revealed during the first two stages. This stage is the most challenging stage of all. During this stage we experience many misunderstandings. I could say something as simple as I possibly can and yet he would still misinterpret and misunderstand every word I said, and even taking what I said out of context.

 Another challenge we faced was trying to adjust and learn the other person's thinking process, which isn't easy by a long shot. My husband's thinking process is extremely different from mind, but yet we still have to work around and with it, which is a part of the learning process.  It won't happen over night, it takes time, patience and the help of the Holy Spirit. Only God knows us like no other, so it just makes sense to go to the one who knows all things about everybody. If anybody knows your spouse better anyone else, it's their creator. God has created us all differently including our brain and how we comprehend, so instead of us getting frustrated with our spouse, we have to make it a habit of going to God to help us communicate with the one we love. Unfortunately, this doesn't happen in many marriages, and as a result they end in divorce, because of misunderstandings that were never resolved or worked through. The bad part is, most of the time both couples, at the end of the day are actually saying the exact same thing, but in a different way, go figure.  Can you imagine separating and/or divorcing over something that could have been resolve, as simple as going to our heavenly Father for wisdom on how to effectively communicate with our spouse.

Don't get me wrong, it's been 9 years in counting and we are still learning how to communicate effectively with each other. We are still working hard on it. No, we are not perfect, far from it,  however, we are getting much better. We are finally allowing the Holy Spirit to help us consistently when it comes to communicating and understanding each other clearly. Do we miss the mark at times, of course, but at the same time we have matured in some areas where we are able to hear God for ourselves pertaining to a disagreement. God may tell us not to say anything, because God wants to take care of it personally, or God would tell one of us how to say what we need to say and the right way to address the issue.  We must trust that God has already dealt with the other person's heart to receive what is being brought to their attention. With that being said, I have personally learned not to address a situation or concern when I'm mad or frustrated...It is NOT, I repeat it is NOT easy, but God.  We all know how hard it really is when this flesh gets upset and wants to lash out but yet your Father God is telling you not to say anything, WOW! that's a hard saying who can hear it.

Therefore, the true take away is to remember, no matter what, without the leading and guidance of the Holy Spirit, your relationship will not last. It will struggle, suffer, go through hardships and eventually it will die. The only way your marriage will survive and thrive is by keeping God first and depending on the Holy Spirit whole heartily.

If you enjoyed the video please subscribe to our YouTube Channel TheProcessLife and visit our website to sign up Newsletter.



P.S. Your Life is a Process; Embrace it, Love it, Trust it...Now Be You and Keep it "Movin"

Yours Truly,

TPL

Is The Bible The Word Of God or NOT???

We have been taught that the bible is the Word of God, but what if I told you that statement is false? What if I told you the bible has no power? What if I told you the bible has become the "church's" idol? What if I told you the bible is not anointed? Would you scream Blasphemy!!! and cast me into the pit of H-E double-hockey sticks...Well, first, before you condemn, judge and cast me away, please listen to the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth through the Holy Spirit.
You just may reconsider.

God, through the Holy Spirit has shown my husband and I the truth pertaining to the bible. He revealed to us that the bible is NOT the Word of God. Trust me, when I received the revelation of this truth, at first, I was as shocked as you were, amazed and in total disbelief all at the same time. When you have live your entire life believing a lie, believing the bible had power because it was the Word of God and then finally, getting a revelation from our Father in heaven, it can be quite emotional. You don't know if you want to laugh, cry, or throw something out of frustration and anger.
Now, my husband on the other hand, was extremely excited.  I know how crazy this may sound but It's the truth. He was in total belief, He didn't have a problem emotionally believing the first. He took it like a champ.

I bet you are asking, how in the world do we know it's the truth, well, thank you for asking. The long and short of it, God, through the Holy Spirit has confirmed this truth by leading us to study different resources, including the "bible", now go figure that.

One very profound revelation God told my husband was this: "The bible is NOT the Word of God, but the Word of God IS in the bible..." John 1: 1-14, now chew on that for a minute...yes, SELAH.  Unfortunately, many will not understand this simplistic statement due to deep, generational embedded religion.  I don't care how simple it is, many would still be unable to comprehend and no one would be able to convince them otherwise. However, fortunately, since you are reading this post, I think it is safe to assume you are looking for truth, and/or you are looking for confirmation of the truth through the Holy Spirit. You may be wondering if you are crazy or if something is really wrong with you and/or your relationship with God. Well, my dear, I am hear to tell you, NO, you are far from crazy and your relationship with God is still in tact but has definitely gone to another level. You are exactly where God wants you to be. Remember, they thought Jesus was crazy too because He was so unorthodox and extremely non-traditional. Some may even say He was known for going against the grain. "Narrow is truly the way" and there's nothing wrong with that, Matthew 7:13-14.

Are we discrediting the bible, absolutely NOT!!! However, God has taught us how to use the bible properly and He has taught us how to not depend on it for guidance but only for confirmation.  We now depend solely on our Father through the Holy Spirit to teach and guide us into all truth, and to tell us what we don't know and what is yet to come, John 16:13; 14:26.

If you really pray and think about it for a minute you will see why the Holy Spirit revealed this awesomeness. The entire bible can't be the Word of God, because there are many who are speaking in the bible who is not speaking the words of our Father. Are there people in the bible who are speaking inspired words of Christ, absolutely, but an inspired word is not the same as the Word of God. Are there people who sharing their opinions, stories, personal experiences with Christ, Yep, but again this not the Word of God. However, we will find exact quotes from our Father and therefore, my dear, that IS the Word of God. We will also find prophets and disciples quoting the Word of God verbatim, and yes that too, can be considered the Word of God. Not to mention, satan speaks in the bible as well, and we know this isn't the Word of God. There are pagan heathens speaking, religious leaders speaking and so many more that are speaking, and yet it wasn't the Word of God. So, to say the entire bible is the Word of God, is insane and completely false.

To listen in detail of our revelation on this topic check out this video of my husband and I sharing our testimony on how the Holy Spirit revealed this revelation to us and the examples He gave us to share.

We really pray that you have or will grab a hold of this truth through the Holy Spirit, even if it's not the norm and even if it goes against tradition and religion. God wants us to depend solely on Him and not on traditions, religions, people, "church buildings, rituals, religious leaders, and yes even the bible.

I thought God didn't make MISTAKES!!!

I was introduced to rejection at a very young age. I was rejected and discriminated against because of the complexion of my skin, the kinky texture of my hair, the gap in my teeth and the birth mark on my face. I was considered the outcast, the black sheep of the family. I wasn't considered beautiful in the eyes of society nor my "LOVE" ones, yes my own flesh and blood, Actually, they treated me the worst. Can you say favoritism between the skin tones!!! Well, it existed in my family. Unfortunately, my dark complexion didn't make the "FAVORED" list. It's funny, I always thought if no one else loved and accepted you for you, at least your family would, well not in my case, I wasn't so fortunate.  

I hated me and the world I lived in. Why Lord did you have to make me this way, the dark skin with all of these flaws, I think you made a huge mistake with creating me. You made my light skinned, straight haired friends perfectly. Did you not love me the way you loved them? Why must my teeth have a space in the front and everyone else doesn't. What's up with the birth mark on the side of my face and let's not talk about the kinky stuff growing from of my head... I don't understand. What did I ever do to deserve this...this is why people are rejecting me and treating me like I don't belong. "I gets no love whatsoever!!!" This is not fair, I didn't ask for this. Matter of fact I didn't even ask to be here. I was fine where I was. (Thoughts that would cross my mind as a child).

I remember going out with my light skinned friend and of course she got all the attention. The guys would only approach me AFTER she turned them down. So, I was stuck with her rejects, the leftovers, Go figure. One night after hanging out, I went into the bathroom with tears running down my face, and began scratching profusely hoping that I would scratch all the "tar" from my face. No one really knew what I was going through. I felt I was in complete torment living in a world with constant rejection on every corner. I hated my mom because she had me from a dark skinned man. Out of all the men in the world she hooked up with a guy with all the flaws that were transferred to me. Really!!! Seriously!!! I know you may think this sounds crazy and immature, and you would be right, it was.  But, my truth was my reality and that's that's how I lived my life. So, can you imagine how messed up I had become? Although I experienced neglect and rejection from family and so-called friends, I too contributed to the madness. I even rejected myself because I wasn't what I felt I should have been. Joyce Meyers said it best, "You can't give something you don't have." I didn't love, respect or value myself, so why should others for that matter...I was sexually abused by a close friend of the family, sexually fondled by a family member and my friend's step dad, So, I was introduced to perversion at a very young age. I was searching for love, affection and acceptance  in all the wrong places and faces, I know that sounds cliche,, but it was the truth. SEX was my cure all... Well, I thought. 

I was engaged twice, and not to mention I caught my finance in bed with another woman, but that's not the worst part, the worst part was that, the woman was his,,,wait for it, wait for it... HIS WIFE!!!

I had been dating this man for about a year or two and didn't know he was married. They were separated and living in separate homes. Wow!!! How in the H-E- double hockey sticks, did I get caught up with a married man,,, Really God,, why are you punishing me!!! Again, I asked, did God make a mistake... Why am I here!! What's the purpose!!! I had fell in such a deep state of depression that I wanted to commit suicide but fear wouldn't let me. So, I prayed long and hard for God to take my life. I wanted to go to sleep and never wake up. I told God if he really loves me He would grant me this one prayer. So, I cried myself to sleep hoping He grant me my desire. At least I would know He loves me, right. Well, as you can see, He didn't grant me what I wanted, or I wouldn't be here telling you about it. So, again... I am angry because God don't even love me..Whats a girl to do!!!

Well, in 1999, I asked God to come into my heart and save me, and guess what, He did. He did love me. He loved me so much that He sent His son, so I can be saved. God answered my prayer. God delivered me from my past, my past hurts, my past rejections, my past failures, my past unfortunate events and best of all, He delivered me from people. He taught me it's not about what people say about me, it is all about what He says about me and every word He speaks is TRUE!!! His beauty isn't the world's beauty.God accepts what the world rejects. 

I had to learn for myself that I had to find the beauty within and the outward will follow. God created beauty in all of us and it's up to us to recognize it. Don't let society define for you what beauty is and what it is not. You are your own unique beauty, You are the original not the counterfeit. Don't let the world tell you what you can or can not accomplished, We were all created for purpose. Seek out your individual purpose, but make sure the ultimate purpose in everything you do, is to GLORIFY GOD. So, Did God make a mistake? Absolutely Not!!! So, now act like it. Choose YOU, love YOU!!!

Put on your God given confidence today, go out and shock the world with what God has given you. We are world changers, but first we need to be changed into the newness of Christ. Let God change you from the inside out.

 If you haven't already, invite Him into your heart and ask Him to save you. He will. He loves you just that much. Just surrender it all to Him and let it go. I am not saying it was easy, but it is easier with Christ. Walk in the true you and fulfill your purpose in the Lord. 

If you are a believer of Christ but just need deliverance from people and their approval/acceptance,  ask God for it. He will answer. It might be a process, like mine was, but it happened. Trust God at His Word. 

Ignore the ignorance of the world. 

   

Who are you?

Fearfully and wonderfully made. You are more than a conqueror, You are victorious. You are royalty. You are a KING'S KID...

Yours truly, 

TPL😘😘😘